I use to think that love was only based on the good things that happened. Whether it was laughter, deep conversations or just the late night cuddles and bum rubs. I use to be content with just this because these are all temporary highs. Honeymoon periods give you this overwhelming sense of pure happiness and your partner seems to do no wrong if he is getting the bare minimum right. It took me a while before I was able to see the signs.
Cuddles made me happy but how often was I actually getting them? I really loved the laughter but did I actually find what was being said hilarious? Deep conversations suddenly become filled with different point of views and disgust. Is it because sex came too quickly? Lust is a hell of a drug and can really get you caught up in a way you never knew you could. None of the bullshit matters when he’s kissing my neck, none of the bullshit matters when he’s sucking my breast and nothing EVER mattered if he was in between my legs.
Love to me now is prevention. My ideal partner will prevent me from feeling alone or unwanted. My ideal partner will not have me looking or feeling stupid. My ideal partner will be honest and truthful and prevent me from feeling regret with hidden lies that come to light. My ideal partner will understand that relationships are hard work but prevent me from feeling like I’m the only one in the ring willing to fight.