Loud thoughts

Five months without sex and I thought I was doing well, but I can’t get rid of all my past experiences. Everything reminds me of something sexual and I yearn for that beautiful feeling of wetness in-between my thighs. My thighs that use to be kissed, bitten, licked and caressed by men who are now no longer in my life. Just thinking about this makes my nipples swell with excitement, but once again I don’t have an eager mouth to tend to them. To suck and nibble them and push me to want more of my body explored. I need exploring, I need a warm tongue parting my pussy lips and circling my clit. I want to feel the growth of a soft penis get hard just by my touch or even the thought of going into my body. Getting a back massage while the hard wood laid on my ass cheeks just hoping that it gets slipped in. I’d settle for a finger, a masculine finger being pushed into my mouth so I’d suck, and then pushed in my ass for me to bounce back on. I need to scream someones name because of the pleasure I’m receiving, I need to beg for more. What good are thoughts of the ones that did it before?

Why is it wrong?

Am I wrong for wanting a piece of him, him, her and her.

Society says it’s wrong.

My friends say I’m greedy.

Is it wrong for me to have many lovers?

Is it wrong that each of them have a special part that equates to my perfect being?

Why must I just have one mate?

Why does it have to be a man?

My auntie says “Cuz we nuh inna di batty gyal biznes”

She doesn’t understand that our culture doesn’t have to affect who I am.

He fucks me so good I lose control of my body, it surrenders to him and never puts up a fight.

She provides me with her sensual flair, making me believe in my sexiness and know that it’s ok to want the best that’s out there.

He makes me laugh and never wants to see me cry. When I’m around him I never know whether it’s day or if it’s night.

She is my provider, she makes me feel safe and warm. She never lets me have to deal with rainy days or them horrible storms.

Together they make the perfect one. The person I see myself falling and falling and falling over and over and over again in love.

Why must that be wrong?

Why is it socially acceptable for a man to gift his dick to what ever woman may blink but if a woman does the same she isn’t worth shit.

She is called a HOE, SLUT, WHORE and could never be a wife. Just because she’s living unapologetically in this crazy thing we call life.

A sexual being, yes. Also, looking for the right attributes to make the best.

Is it wrong?

Is it really wrong?

When you think about it are you truly with the one?

Or are you just with someone that was better than the rest but still missing something hun?

Live your best life and be who you want to be.

I’m only my best when I’m being me.

Deon and Ebony (The meeting)

It’s absolutely beautiful in Shoreditch. Inspiration just drips off of everything and I always feel right at home. This is the first time I have come here and it has been sunny and I love it. I thought to myself that I should make the most of it and wear one of those sun dresses that ripples off your bum when you walk. Sexy dress for the sexy weather, or so I thought. I wanted to go somewhere to write and I recently fell in love with the lounge at the CitizenM hotel. The beautiful decor and the way the place is laid out could literally inspire you to write a book.

I arrived at about 11am and the sun was absolutely popping on the balcony so I set myself up there. I was thankful to Rihanna for her new Fenty product, body lava, my shoulders and arms were glistening. I was also thankful to Shea moistures Jamaican black castor oil leave in conditioner because my hair was full of it’s multi textual curls and I felt like a natural hair goddess. I literally felt like I could take over the world and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I saw him.

Staring up at me from the side walk was a tall glass of Guinness punch. I’m not talking about the slap dash Guinness punch that you only use the basic ingredients (Guinness, nourishment and condensed milk). No honey, he had nutmeg, bailey’s and a cinnamon stick in his mix. Beautiful, muscly, swaggy, warrior looking, straight from the motherland ready to pick me up, put me on his shoulder and walk our asses into the sunset looking man. His eyes looked like they were looking through me into my soul and this was the first time today that I felt a little insecure. He never dropped his gaze and although I started to feel a little awkward I refused to drop mine either. After what seemed like five million, six trillion, seven bajillion minutes he decided to smile and then he walked off. I felt quite confused and then a rush of disappointment came over me because I thought he would’ve tried to speak to me.I didn’t waste anymore time on thinking about him and started to write.

I felt so hungry at about two and my stomach began to growl. I couldn’t actually remember if I had breakfast or not which was weird but my mind was too into what I was writing to dwell on that. I decided to ask the hotel if they knew of any cute little cafes or places they recommend to go for lunch. They named a few places but as they were talking I smelt this amazing aroma. It spelt like a stew or something along those lines and I think one of the staff noticed me drifting from the conversation because he told me that they had a cafe in the hotel. As if I needed another reason not to leave here. I walked into the cafe and there it was, beef boujistew, I can’t remember the actual name but it was along them lines. I asked for a big bowl and some bread to go with it and tuck in. Half way through my meal I heard a low and alluring tone talking and I had to look up to see who it was. To my surprise it was Mr. Guinness punch, he was talking to one of the staff and it looked like they were looking for someone. I continued to watch them as they scanned the room and just when I put another spoonful of food in my mouth they turned towards me and he smiled and waved. I’m extremely confused at this point so I literally just stared at him. I wasn’t even chewing my damn food, just sat there and watched him walk over to me with the most amount of confidence.

“You look like your enjoying that, can I have some?” he said as he sat down at my table. I was still in a state of shock and he picked up the spare spoon that I always get just incase ones dirty and took some of the stew.

“Very nice but you better start chewing yours because I don’t think it was made this nice to be stored in your cheeks” he spoke with a humorous tone.

After I finished chewing I spoke with a little annoyance in my voice, “umm first of all, you don’t know where my mouth has been and I’ve been dipping my spoon in and out of MY stew. Since you walked over here with such confidence, you should’ve grabbed YOURSELF some food because I do not like to share!” He was clearly entertained and a little shocked in my response. I could tell by the expression on his face.

He picked up his spoon dramatically and dived it back into my food and took another spoonful. I just rolled my eyes and continued to eat as well. I didn’t want to make it obvious but I tried to get little looks in here and there. His mouth looked so nice, with his full lips and white teeth. His eyebrows were so perfect but I didn’t get the vibe that he got them waxed which of course would’ve been a complete turn off. He was bald and it suited him so damn perfectly, especially with that full beard that just got my juices flowing.

“So are you going to tell me your name or should I just call you miss?”

“If you wanted to know my name you should’ve asked before you started eating my food. Clearly you don’t actually need to know it so miss will be just fine, sir.”

He smiled again, “you didn’t stop me and you continued eating yourself so clearly you were comfortable with me doing so, miss.”

“I’d be a fool if I gave up the opportunity in having dinner with a man that almost looks as good as I do on this beautiful sunny day, sir.” I was warming to him and didn’t want to scare him away.

“If you think I look half as good as you do then you’re very mistaken miss……”

“Ebony, that’s my name and yours would be?” I tried my hardest not to get too excited at the compliment.

“Your name is Ebony? Or is that a pseudonym?”

“That’s my actually name sir….”

“Deon. My name is Deon Matthews.”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Deon Matthews.”

“Are you going to let me know what your last name is?”

“Depends on what you want from me Deon.”

“I want to take you upstairs to my room and with your permission of course I’d like to see if your body looks as good under that sundress as what I had imagined.”

I just sat there shocked and slightly turned on by how brazen he was. I was trying to think of the most calm way to respond to him but I just felt like this was all too random to be true. I also didn’t really know if this actually a good thing or if it may be slightly scary. He must’ve caught onto my hesitation and stood up, pushed his chair in and placed a room key on to the table.

“If you believe that this would be as good as I think it will be join me. I’m in number 212 and hopefully I will see you soon.” He walked off but I noticed he left a box behind. It looked like a jewellery box and before my ass runs after him to give it back I opened it and there was the most beautiful black pearl necklace. It had a little note in the lid of the box and when I unraveled it, it said:

You looked beautiful and when I saw you I wanted to add

to that beauty. Please don’t take this gift in a rude way.

Damn, he actually bought this for me. He said not to take it rudely but the thought did cross my mind like I hope he don’t think I’m a prostitute. I immediately dismissed that idea and tried to decide what to do. Around ten minutes went past and I took out my pocket mirror, checked my face, redid my Fenty lipgloss and I proceeded to the elevator. I mean who knows we could just end up talking.

Mmmm Deon, deon, deon, deon.


His face showed signs of anger but it still made me want to try and seduce him. He kept his tight gaze as I walked across the room slowly dropping the dressing gown off my shoulders. His stubbornness kept his eyes on mine but I knew he wanted to look at my body. I moved slowly towards him which seemed to make his hands fidget but his eyes still looked mad. I ignored his face and decided to watch his body language as I got closer and closer. He seemed to relax more and his hands dropped down to his sides. I got in between his legs and still hadn’t looked up at his face again. His body was giving me all that I needed in that moment. I went to undo his belt and he grabbed my wrist, but when I touched his hand with my other he let go. I undid his belt and zipped down his trousers and his most important muscle sprang to attention. I bent down and placed my petroleum covered lips onto him and I heard a gasp. That gave me all the permission I needed to take him deep into my throat, start working my hands at the base of him and start squeezing his scrotum; which I knew he loved. I caught myself in a rhythm and he put a hand behind my head and whispered “Don’t move let me fuck your mouth” in a breathy tone. I did as I was told and when I managed to look up I saw his face and I knew he had succumbed fully to my advances.


Make me cum without touch, use your words to seduce me.

Make love to my mind, use your intelligence to entice me.

No day to day small talk, let your goals be used as foreplay.

Your drive and ambition will put me under a spell.

Love me with your mind don’t just fuck me with your dick.

Give me something different, not just something average or I’ll regret it.

Challenge my knowledge with information I’ve never heard before.

Hours and hours of stimulation until I close my eyes.

I want my mind blown baby, not just in between my thighs.


I love a man…

I love a man that can take control. I love a man that just gets on with it and doesn’t need to be told. I love a man who can sense a good opportunity. I love a man who can make me scream his name. I love a man that can make me moan. I love a man that can make me beg for more. I love a man that can fulfil all my needs. I love a man that can make me say please. I love a man that is good with his hands. I love an experienced man. I love a man that likes to watch what I can do to myself with my own hands. I love a man that always wants more. I love a man that always needs more. I love a man that isn’t afraid to ask for more. I love a man that isn’t afraid to try new things. I love a man that knows what pace will suit the mood I’m in. I love a man that doesn’t mind kissing with tongue. I love a man who doesn’t mind not doing it at home. I love a man that worships my breasts. I love a man that worships my bum. I love a man who loves my thighs. I love a man who can do it while staring deeply into my eyes. I love a man that loves what I can do with my mouth. I love a man that kisses me at the start, the end and throughout. 


I needed him to give my body what it craved and what it needed. It had been a while since we was able to fuck like rabbits. Excuse me for being crude but sexually frustrated is not even the word, my pussy was in need of some sexual abuse. Saying that, I’m the crazy ass female who thought let me go on strike over something very stupid. 

Now let me explain what a strike is, no sexual intercourse but teasing and other touching was allowed. Everything apart from me getting eaten out and fucked was acceptable.

After two weeks of being on strike I decided to take this pussy and put it to good use. I needed to feel his dick in me, I needed to feel his warm thick tongue against my clit. 
I heard the door buzzer, let him into the building and made sure to give myself one last look in the mirror to see if I was still looking just right. Black lace bra and frenchies, red lipstick and massive curly hair. I needed to look like the words F.U.C.K M.E so he knew exactly what I wanted to do. 
I opened the front door and just like that my clit started throbbing and my pussy got wet. He had that effect on me, made me want to pounce on him at first sight. Barely making it inside, I kissed him and was on my knees in the blink of an eye. Undoing his belt and unbuttoning his trousers I needed to taste that beautiful dick. 
He was rock hard and looked edible, I wasted no time putting in that work. 
Working my lips and tongue up and down the shaft, he started to moan and that’s when I knew it was time to get messy deep throating his dick with a quickness. Spitting saliva all over his impressive length, keeping it as juicy as possible. I tasted his precum and was in heaven, he tastes so damn good and I knew he was getting ready to cum. I started to wank the base of him and continued to lick and suck until I felt that warm liquid trickle down the back of my throat.
I stood up and looked into his eyes, they were filled with fire and I knew he was about to give me what I’ve been waiting for. He kissed me like he  hadn’t kissed me before, passion  and need all in one. 
After what seemed like an eternity he ended the kiss that now had my panties soaked. He pushed me so I was against my front door, got down on his knees, lifted my right leg onto his shoulder, pushed my frenchies to the side and started his tongue torture. It had been a while since he last ate my pussy and I was in ecstasy. He was flicking his tongue on my clit and fingering me at the same time, my body started to lift away from the door. He pushed me back and used his free hand to hold me in place. My thighs began to shake and I could feel my orgasm building, he could sense it too and gently nibbled on my clit making me scream and orgasm at the same damn time. 
He didn’t stop to give me time to compose myself, just continued to suck and kiss my now swollen and really sensitive pearl. I was so ready to get fucked at this point, I needed to feel his dick balls deep in my pussy. 
My legs started to shake again and I could feel another orgasm coming, he sensed it too and stopped what he was doing. I was so confused and didn’t understand why he stopped. 
He kissed my inner right thigh, moved  that same leg off his shoulder , stood up and then kissed me. The taste of my juices were making me crazy, it was so erotic. He turned me around and told me to spread my legs, I did and before I knew it I felt his big dick sliding into my pussy. I gasped for air when I felt it go in, I almost forgot the size of his manhood. He held on to my waist and started to really move his hips, going in and out of me not slow but not exactly fast either. It was driving me crazy. I was in heaven, the feeling was too much. He freed one of his hands and started playing with my nipples, as if they wasn’t hard enough already. I could feel myself giving in to the pleasure and I turned my head to the side to kiss him. Deep and amazing. I came shortly after and so did he. We sunk down to the floor and I stayed curled up in his lap for what seemed like hours. He kissed me on the side of my mouth and said “how about we go on another strike?” We both laughed knowing that we couldn’t last.